Things are looking up already!

You can tell I’m bored when, I’m sifting through my spam emails. I tend to do that every once in a while to make sure nothing is caught in there that I wouldn’t consider spam. Having fought with my monitor all evening attempting to calibrate it, I decided I’d have a little fun…
and reply to one of these “winning” emails.

Date: Tue, 07 Dec 2010 16:02:50 -0500
From: Microsoft Corporation Sweepstakes Promotion Spain
To: Undisclosed Recipients
Reply-To: claims.dept@mcsp-online.com
Subject: ***SPAM*** OFFICIAL WINNING NOTIFICATION.

Microsoft Corporation Sweepstakes Promotion,
Customer Service.
Your Batch No: 2010/28901/CMT
Your Reference No: SYM/SPA/0829

OFFICIAL WINNING NOTIFICATION.

We are pleased to inform you of the release of the long awaited results of
Sweepstakes promotion organized by Microsoft Corporations, in conjunction with
the FOUNDATION FOR THE PROMOTION OF SOFTWARE products, (F.P.S.) held this
December 2010, in Madrid Spain. Where in your email address emerged as one of
the online Winning emails in the 2nd category and therefore attracted a cash
award of 350,000.00 euro (Three Hundred and Fifty Thousand Euros Only) and a
Toshiba laptop. To begin your claim, do file for the release of your winning by
contacting our Foreign Transfer Manager:

Mr. Eddie Wilcox
Tel:0034-672-582-420
Fax:0034-917-693-087
Email: claims.dept@mcsp-online.com

The Microsoft Internet E-mail lottery Awards is sponsored by former
CEO/Chairman, Bill Gates and a consortium of software promotion companies. The
Intel Group, Toshiba, Dell Computers and other International Companies. The
Microsoft internet E-mail draw is held periodically and is organized to
encourage the use of the Internet and promote computer literacy worldwide.

Congratulations!!

Sincerely,

Mrs. Anita Lopez,
Promotions Manager.
(Group Co-ordinator)

Hi Anita!!!

Oh Boy! Oh Joy! I absolutely can not believe my luck! I can’t believe I won 350,000.00 euro and a Toshiba Laptop!! From Microsoft at that!
I had no idea that Bill Gates was that generous. Bless his heart, no really…bless him. I have had such a horrible time struggling financially fo rthe last year, I can’t tell you. To open this email, I just can’t believe it. You see how lucky I am? I mean I’m wishing I had checked my emails earlier. Today alone I’ve won several other lotteries from all over the world, and have people I’ve never even heard of dropping dead and leaving me all of their money. I haven’t even checked all of the last weeks emails yet!

- I won $950.580.00 from the Dutch Zerman Lottery in the Netherlands. Score!
-500,000.00 euro and brand new Porsche Cayenne SUV Car from the Cash and car lottery in Europe. Gosh I don’t even drive. Do you know how much I can sell the Porsche for?? Cha-Ching!
- A lovely woman named Gina wrote to me indicating the following, “On behalf of the administration and executor of the estate of late Engr.Juriaan Kugger,I wish to inform you that you were named as a beneficiary and has been bequathed with the sum of ($30, 100000.00) in the Codicil and last test of his WILL.” (I do believe Gina means bequeathed. I know I shouldn’t nit pick at the little irregularities such as words spelled incorrectly. I was just thinking that she should be more vigilant in her professional correspondences.)

So Anita. You seem like a very nice girl. I mean, you wrote to tell me I’d won all this money. I know it must be pretty rough in your position of the company you are working for. Just sitting there sending notifications to people telling them the amount they each of won. That has to be rough. So I was thinking. I have a proposition for you. Since I’m clearly going to be fantastically rich, how about you come work for me? Just thinking about being rich makes me want to lay down and eat bonbons and caviar. Thinking about being rich is….exhausting!

I will forward all of these emails I’ve received to you, as they all contain the pertinent information needed to pursue each claim. Once you have contacted all the parties involved and the money has been received by me, I will split it with you 50/40. The remaining 10 %, I think we should donate to some charity or other. There is time to think of which one. Even still, I’m sure 40% is more than you are making currently. So how about it?

I must however, urge you to act quickly on this very important decision. Despite my better judgment, if I don’t get a reply from you within a week, I will have to offer that wonderful other woman, Gina, the position. I also trust that all correspondence between you and I are strictly confidential. No one must know of this potential partnership. I mean, we’re already giving 10% to a charity. We can’t afford anymore handouts.

I look forward to reaching an agreement. I’ve attached all the forwarded emails, so you are at liberty to start anytime. Oh and when you contact Gina, please advise her we will buy her a spell check as a bonus!

Kind Regards,
Mrs. Maritza Mohung

**note – Mrs. Maritza Mohung is one of the names often used in the Nigerian email scams